This has been the longest time I was away from home for almost a year. Last time I was home was April 2011. I attended an ordination of a friend whom who has been reminding me not to miss that day since we were in high school and it was my late dad's first year death anniversary. I admit I have killed that homesickness finally and realized that I am not getting any younger anymore that I should live my own and continue to see what is life for me.
This has been also the most emotional period of my life thinking things over about shifting career and/or moving to another place. Working in the past 6 years in the same place and same people somehow made me really comfortable to the point that I have no strength to leave my job unless they fire me. But with all due
respect I would love to work for them for as long as I live but one thing I realized life is too short to spend it for one thing or for one reason.
So all I need to get home is an hour flight, a van ride for another hour or so and ten cartwheels. It was a surprise visit. My mom is getting older and older the way she looks every time I go home and my two younger sisters are now teenage ladies! The rest of my brothers and sisters are also away from home studying and working. So we're kinda scattered only complete when holidays come. Actually not so because I have work on holidays! I made sure I visited my grandma and all my relatives nearby to pay respect to them. And one thing that my mom wanted for us every time we go home is to visit our dad's grave. So we went there and my mom as always about to cry while we lit candles so I asked her "Mama, If and slash or when I walk down the aisle to get married who will walk me now that Papa is gone?" My mom freeze for a while not expecting I will ask that. She said "Well Roni (our second eldest) or your Tito blah, blah..." Whew! I didn't really meant to ask her about that all I really wanted is to stop her from crying! Good that she did not!
Now this is the hardest part... preparing my stuff to go back to Manila. This time all I need to do is a tumble and a split to catch the first bus trip to go back to the airport. But it was my heart that is heavier than my backpack bag that wouldn't want me to even take a step forward. My mom asked "When are you coming back?" I said "In a few months." But actually I don't know. I wanna go home as often as I can as much as I wanna go to other places as well. I want to enjoy life like I never did before. I am up to anything right now. Good of course. Does not matter whether I end up losing a battle, what matters is I tried. I wanna be anywhere!
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