Reflections of a Woman

A woman who is approaching or in her early thirties should have already found a career she is happy with  and at least have been to a romantic relationship.  When asked she should be very comfortable  sharing her unbiased views about different bed positions,  most effective birth control methods and the latest fashion trends. In reality, not all of the women are.

Yesterday I was having some chat with Eve, a very good friend. She was a former coworker but we manage to have a tea together every once in a blue moon to catch up to each other. Me at 28 is feeling this going-to-thirty-what's-gonna-happen drama and her having a i-am-now-in-thirties-what's-next drama. Still single at 33 when asked why, she says "I just haven't found the right one." Both of us are in the stage of reflecting about our career and personal life. I am sure every woman in our age bracket could have or at least felt this once in her lifetime.

We talked about how hard it is to leave our comfort zones. That our repetitive tasks for years are slowly killing us physically and emotionally. That we need to continue growing and not stop learning. We shared about the women we personally know whom we admire and being the humans that we are there is this certain amount of jealousy that we wished we are also like them. Then we will pause for a while not talking to each other and realizing this unspoken line "Being insecure to anyone won't do any good." We also talked about men. I leave that part just between the two of us.

When I reached home, I was having some moments of reflections from a woman's point of view. A woman who is in our age bracket should have earned enough that in any moment she feels this "I gotta get the heck out of here" she can anytime to pursue another path. Though she may have a well-paid job and/or in a very healthy relationship she should be also part of advocacy like promoting human rights, environment preservation, arts because it adds her fulfillment as a full grown woman. That it doesn't mean that as a woman's age adds up every year she becomes more matured. But from the lessons she learns as the day passes by. That she is as vulnerable for falling in love with the wrong man just as she sometimes make rush decisions from her own judgments. That she commits mistakes and may be doing it again. That a lesson learned from a negative experience has more impact and depth than learning it from somebody else's experience. That she needs to travel to another place to discover her worth.


I texted her and thanked her for our conversation it made me feel lighter. She texted back with this message:


just enjoy life, be grateful abt what u have. the secret to happines is being CONTENT w/ what u have, don't compare or look at other plate. everyone has their own path. go out there, live life!


How ironic! I just gave this almost same advice to another woman sometime ago who feels the same way. Best of all, I realized the more that I feel doubt of achieving something because I'm too afraid to fail the more I should push it. Whether I win or I lose at least I tried instead of when I get old I would say "Damn, why did I never tried that?"